In an email reply,

"Local authorities are also tasked with supporting and challenging schools in delivering the Government's reform agenda and ensuring that progress on remodelling the workforce is sustained and deepened through the effective deployment of teachers, headteachers and support staff."

Is this even English?

I come across this little ditty of a quote from the BBC which appeared in the latest issue of Private Eye. You have to read it several times and you still don't know what it's about. Believe it or not it is a job description for someone to deal with booking taxis and couriers.

"Procurement is targeted with delivering savings on generic goods and services pan BBC through a comprehensive category management initiative and driving compliance. The Category Manager-Logistics-Ground Transport is responsible to the Head of Production and Logistics and Senior Category Manager, Logistics for:

Developing a strategy for the procurement and development of a supplier strategy for the BBC's ground transport provision.

Managing the resources needed to procure and develop the ground transport aspect of the Logistics Category.

Influencing key stakeholders and customers pan-BBC......

Competencies:

Using external thinking-builds bridges with useful organisations and innovative thinkers.

Collaborating across boundaries-challenges systems, processes and people that block collaboration.

Leading creativity-fosters imagination, creativity and experimentation."

'It's not torture. Pyramids can be used as a control technique... Don't cheerleaders all over America form pyramids six to eight times a year?'

Guy Womack, defence lawyer for a US soldier court martialed in the Abu Ghraib detainee abuse scandal.

"Servicing the target."

US Army term for killing the enemy.

'Shortening the list of politically sensitive individuals by means other than detention.'

Assassination of political enemies, as described by the South African State Security Council in the Apartheid era.

Found a really good song while having a trawl on youtube. It is a song by 'miniblackhole' called "Love Solutions". It is a very good dance/rock track with management speak as the lyrics. It has a chorus with the lines
"My love solutions are tailor-made for you". Very clever. Check it out.

'As the Government targeted the anti-deficit declaration in Parliament, Mr Springborg yesterday talked of "front-ending" public service jobs and not refilling those considered "denecessary".'

'I would like to move forward and review our areas of responsibility and ultimately agree our collective mandate. I should raise a cautionary note - from experience this type of re-structure tends to evolve: it will be a evolution rather than a revolution. That said we need to agree the macro drivers and get on with it. In the past the approach I have adopted can be summarised into three inter-linked processes:
Review and agree strategy
Align structure
Engage people
I would like to use this type of process as we move forward. The attached scorecard is probably a little naive but should provide a framework to move forward. I would like to integrate this into a process that delivers a shared agreement on roles and responsibilities, a review of position descriptions and the delivery of individual development plans. There is a mixture of team and individual elements.'

'MAp Airports says it has completed the internalisation of its management, with several senior management changes.'

In the Guardian on Wednesday 14th the Treasury Spokespeople of the 3 major parties where asked several questions about the public service. On one question in particular the Conservative's George Osburne gave an answer which I have read several times and I still can't work out what he is saying.

When asked the following;

"Will you give citizens a bigger say in running public services?", he responded,

"We are committed to providing public services such as health and education free at the point of use, and to getting budgets into the hands of users of public services. This would allow those who use public services to drive priorities, and would ensure providers' professional responsibility was restored while services were also more accountable to users."

Ah? Committed to providing..."point of use..", "drive priorities...".

Heaven help us!

One of my biggest hates in the world is the relatively new concept of management speak. The language where everyone is a client; there is now a difference between core values and vales; everything is now delivered and managers, amongst other things, are now strategic.

The following is a list of words and phrases I jotted down during one of those dreaded training days for a previous employer. Here it goes:

Value Added Service
Best Practice
Holistic Integration
Evidence Based Practice
Pathway Plan
Paradigm
Silo Mentalities
Consistent Messages
Psycho-Pathology
De-brief and De-stress
Misplaced Anger
Containment of That Space
Crossing That Threshold
Monthly Maintenance
Psycho-dynamic Perspective
facilitate Communication
Level of Functioning
Create Environment where one can progress through 'stuck' development
Provide Containment
Unboundried [I think this is a made-up word]
Animal Mode

And my favorite, Enmeshed!

Just one person said all this in a few hours. How I didn't kill myself after listening to this rubbish I will never know.